Crafty? Or just plain crazy?

Bryan's birthday was this past week, and he had a birthday party for the very first time, with invitations and friends and everything! We actually ended up having a joint party with another little girl from his class who had scheduled her party for the same time, but that's another, non-food-allergy-related story. When I asked Bryan what kind of cupcakes he wanted for his party, he told me that he really wanted Backyardigans cupcakes. (For the non-parents out there, The Backyardigans is a cartoon that has 5 friends (a penguin, a moose, a bug, a kangaroo, and a hippo) who all live next door to each other, and who have all sorts of fun adventures together in their backyards.) So... knowing that I couldn't exactly go to a bakery and pick up a Backyardigans cake for him, I set out to make his Backyardigans cupcakes. And I think I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself:

Which brings me to my current train of thought... Would I have gone through all of this trouble if Bryan didn't have his food allergy problems? I think the short answer is no- I would have just gone out and bought a pre-decorated cake for him. But even beyond that, I kind of wonder... It never occured to me to say "No Bryan, I don't think I can do that- can you think of something easier?" I just immediately thought, Okay- Bryan wants Backyardigans... how do I make that happen? It's almost like a feeling of guilt- that I HAD to do it because I COULDN'T just go to a store and pick up something up. If I had been able to buy a cake for him and they didn't have Backyardigans, I probably would have had him choose something else, right? But since we didn't even have that option, I felt like I needed to make sure he at least had SOMETHING special.

I know that I'm not articulating this very well. Which I suppose brings me back to the title of this post. Am I crafty? Or just plain crazy?

Thanks a Lot(s)!

The end of January has crept up on us, which means... it's Girl Scout Cookie time! For me, Girl Scout cookies are more nostalgic than anything else. When I was a Girl Scout, my mother actually volunteered as Cookie Mother several times- which means that we gathered up our entire troop's orders from the delivery station and sorted them for each individual to pick up and deliver to their customers. Hundreds of boxes of Thin Mints, Samoas, and Do-Si-Dos sitting in our living room, just waiting to find their way to their new homes...

In any case, the Girl Scouts in our area now sell their cookies at booths or door-to-door, rather than taking orders ahead of time. One troop had set up just outside my grocery store last weekend, so as I left I bought a box of Thanks-A-Lots- a biscuit-like cookie that has chocolate on one side that my husband really likes. Of course, when I got home, Bryan saw me carrying the box and asked what they were. I told him that they were cookies for Daddy, and he asked if he could try one. When I told him that I didn't think they were safe for him, he said, "Well, can you just check?" So I did- and much to my surprise, I found out that Thanks-A-Lots are actually Bryan-safe! And so Bryan happily sat down with a Girl Scout cookie- and I received yet another lesson on the importance of reading labels.

New year, new... food?

Most people know that it is very easy to get stuck in a "food rut". Same things for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, day in and day out. It's a problem that a lot of families have, certainly, but the problem is compounded when you are also dealing with food allergies. Granted, I am the first to admit that my household is full of picky eaters to begin with. However, I definitely feel limited in the scope of foods that I can start with to serve to my son Bryan (because let's face it- there are only so many ways that you can substitute for an egg in a recipe). Plus, since it's such a relief whenever I do find something that Bryan can eat, it's very tempting to go back the same things again and again that I KNOW are safe. All of that to say- my family is defintely stuck in a food rut.

Which brings me to my New Year's Resolution: Armed with several new cookbooks that I received at Christmas, I am going to try to make at least one new Bryan-safe recipe each week. I know that it doesn't sound like much, but that works out to 52 new recipes over the course of the year- which is certainly more than I have done lately. I am planning to keep track of each week's results- where the recipe came from, modifications, degree of difficulty, and how it was received by my family- on a separate blog at http://myfoodallergytable.blogspot.com. (I know, some of you probably think I'm trying to recreate Julie and Julia, but honestly- it's just my way of getting myself to actually keep this resolution!) For anyone interested, the new blog will be dedicated exclusively to the recipe resolution, while I will continue to share food allergy stories and experiences here.

Thanks to all for stopping by- have a safe and happy new year!

The scariest time of the year

I was talking to Grandmama the other day, and mentioned that we might be going to Dallas to visit on Halloween this year. (We don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters here, and since it's on a Saturday, we thought it might be fun to visit Grandparents so they could see the kids in their costumes.) Right away, Grandmama started talking about how much fun it would be to take Bryan and Claudia trick-or-treating with their cousins Hannah and Zander, who always come over to trick-or-treat in their neighborhood.

The problem? I don't want Bryan to go.

Full disclosure- I am a little bit of a Halloween Grinch. Halloween has never been a big deal for me. I was pretty shy growing up, and I don't like asking people for things anyway, so trick-or-treating didn't hold a big appeal. So far, Bryan hasn't expressed any interest in going trick-or-treating, and he has enjoyed handing out candy for the past 2 years in a row- he actually already asked me about it for this year. My thought was that if we go to Grandparents' house, he would be able to hand out candy there. However, Grandmama is SO excited about having the cousins trick-or-treat together. I did tell her that I didn't know if trick-or-treating would be a good idea, but she began making plans to talk to her neighbors ahead of time to warn them of Bryan's food allergies. I know that my husband's family really got into Halloween every year, so she just wants to make sure that Bryan doesn't miss out on something that was so much fun for them.

I'm definitely thankful that Grandmama is thinking ahead on this, but there's so much more involved than just warning neighbors ahead of time. Neighbors who don't have any experience with food allergies won't know what to look for on a food label, and there are other issues as well. If I do let Bryan go trick-or-treating, I am going to want to:

• Talk to every single neighbor myself
  
• Bring some Bryan-safe candy to each house ahead of time
• Ask each person to make sure to keep the Bryan-safe candy separate from any other candy they might have to reduce the risk of cross-contamination
  
• Make sure they know who to look for to give the safe candy to
  
• Ask them to share this info with anyone in the house who might open the door

And that is a LOT to ask for from someone you don't know (particularly for someone who, as I mentioned earlier, doesn't like to ask people for things!) However, if I am being completely honest, there is a part of me that doesn't want to do this because I worry about what happens next. Suppose Bryan does go trick-or-treating this year. Next year when we're at home, do we do the same thing with all of our neighbors? And every year after that? If Bryan is perfectly happy handing out candy now, why change a good thing?

Am I letting my Halloween Grinch get in the way here? Since we have this opportunity, shouldn't I just let my kids enjoy being kids (and let their grandparents enjoy it as well)? Am I being unfair to Claudia by holding her back from this experience? Are they both going to look back on this someday and say that my denying their trick-or-treating effectively ruined their childhoods?

Wow, Halloween really CAN be the scariest time of the year...

Some good news and not-exactly-good news

Good news first- we found a new preschool for Bryan! We spent a few frustrating weeks calling and visiting preschools, none of which seemed to really understand our food allergy concerns. However, we finally found one that I was really excited about. First, they have experience dealing with food allergies- not only have they had other children with similar allergies in the past, his current class actually has another child with a nut allergy. When we went to visit, the director and the teacher asked all the "right" questions about Bryan's allergies and potential reactions, and I felt like they went out of their way to make sure I would feel comfortable leaving him in their care. They even invited me back to the kitchen to read all of the labels on the snacks that they served- which I REALLY appreciated. I kind of knew that for the most part, the snacks would not actually be safe (Goldfish crackers, Nilla wafers), but the fact that they gave me the opportunity to check helped me feel like they really do know what needs to be done to keep a food-allergic child safe. While I know that nothing is foolproof, I do feel really good about this place, and I hope that things go well!

As for the not-exactly-good news... We had another allergist appointment last week. Nothing has changed really, which we pretty much expected would be the case. However, there was so little improvement in his IgE levels for all of his allergens, the allergist actually recommended that we wait another 2 years before meeting with her again. Basically, she felt that the likelihood of seeing any marked improvement in another year was fairly slim, so we may as well wait a little longer before testing again. I certainly understand her rationale, and I actually agree that we probably won't see any improvement within the next year. It was, however, a little disheartening to hear someone (particularly the expert) actually say it out loud. I guess we just have to keep taking things one step at a time.

Back to square one

After a good experience with preschool last year, I'm kind of disappointed to say that we are in the process of finding a new preschool for Bryan. We do have options, but none of them seem to be ideal at this point. We were pretty lucky last year, as both of his teachers were nice and understanding, and willing to really work with us concerning Bryan's food allergies. They worked with us to keep him safe, but they also made sure that he felt included in the classroom. He sat at the table with everyone else at lunch, but they made sure that everyone knew they had to be careful around him. His allergies were important, but they weren't a "big deal." We were very happy with them, and with the school, and while I was disappointed that we had to move on from the class, I thought we were in fairly good shape for moving up to the next teacher.

I spoke with Bryan's new teacher at the beginning of the summer, and I wasn't really sure what to think. On the one hand, she seemed to take Bryan's allergies very seriously. However, her plan was for Bryan to sit at a table by himself during lunch. She was pretty set against letting him sit with the other kids because she felt the risk for accidents was too high. And while I understand her concern, I'm torn on her solution. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about it. Do I want Bryan to be isolated from everyone else during lunch? It's safer, certainly, but is he going to feel excluded? Or worse, ashamed, like he has done something wrong? (It doesn't help that the separate table was also used at other times during the day as the "Time Out" table.) In general, Bryan is pretty matter-of-fact about things- if we explained that he had to sit alone because it was safest, he might be okay with it. But then again, he might not.

It was enough of a concern that I started to look at other options over the summer. And I thought that I had actually found a good one- a small, owner-operated center with what I considered to be a strong educational philosophy. I spoke with the owner multiple times, as well as with both of his potential teachers. I really liked them, and while I still wasn't sure if I was over-reacting on his old preschool, I thought I would go ahead and enroll him in this new place. However, when I called last week to confirm that they still had space and to go over some of Bryan's allergy information again, I was caught by surprise. While they did have space, his new teacher was so concerned about his allergies that she really didn't feel comfortable with having him at a table with the other kids. In fact, their solution was for me to pick Bryan up before lunch each day, since we were planning to do half-days anyway. I was kind of taken aback, but I told them it sounded fine. However, after I hung up and had a chance to actually think about it, I realized- I don't know that it is IS fine. Again, I understand their concerns, and honestly, it's safer for Bryan to have lunch at home with me. But in some ways, that kind of defeats the purpose of preschool for Bryan. He needs to learn to handle himself, particularly with meals, when I'm not around.

It's quite frustrating, because I honestly don't know what to do. How do other parents in this situation feel? One school is willing to give him a "safe", albeit isolated, table- should we just be grateful for that much? Or should we ask that he be included at the table during lunch? Is that even in his best interest, given the risks? Or am I just overthinking this? Anyone? Anyone?

Four years and counting

It has been four years since we started our ride on this roller coaster of living with food allergies. We have definitely been through a lot, but we have learned a lot as well. And the next year is going to bring even more challenges (hello, Kindergarten!) But through it all, Bryan has been a trooper. I'm sure that things are difficult for him sometimes, but he has been so mature about the way that he handles his food allergies, it's hard for me to believe that he is only four years old. Bigger challenges may be ahead of us, but for now, at least- I think he's going to be okay.