The scariest time of the year

I was talking to Grandmama the other day, and mentioned that we might be going to Dallas to visit on Halloween this year. (We don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters here, and since it's on a Saturday, we thought it might be fun to visit Grandparents so they could see the kids in their costumes.) Right away, Grandmama started talking about how much fun it would be to take Bryan and Claudia trick-or-treating with their cousins Hannah and Zander, who always come over to trick-or-treat in their neighborhood.

The problem? I don't want Bryan to go.

Full disclosure- I am a little bit of a Halloween Grinch. Halloween has never been a big deal for me. I was pretty shy growing up, and I don't like asking people for things anyway, so trick-or-treating didn't hold a big appeal. So far, Bryan hasn't expressed any interest in going trick-or-treating, and he has enjoyed handing out candy for the past 2 years in a row- he actually already asked me about it for this year. My thought was that if we go to Grandparents' house, he would be able to hand out candy there. However, Grandmama is SO excited about having the cousins trick-or-treat together. I did tell her that I didn't know if trick-or-treating would be a good idea, but she began making plans to talk to her neighbors ahead of time to warn them of Bryan's food allergies. I know that my husband's family really got into Halloween every year, so she just wants to make sure that Bryan doesn't miss out on something that was so much fun for them.

I'm definitely thankful that Grandmama is thinking ahead on this, but there's so much more involved than just warning neighbors ahead of time. Neighbors who don't have any experience with food allergies won't know what to look for on a food label, and there are other issues as well. If I do let Bryan go trick-or-treating, I am going to want to:

• Talk to every single neighbor myself
  
• Bring some Bryan-safe candy to each house ahead of time
• Ask each person to make sure to keep the Bryan-safe candy separate from any other candy they might have to reduce the risk of cross-contamination
  
• Make sure they know who to look for to give the safe candy to
  
• Ask them to share this info with anyone in the house who might open the door

And that is a LOT to ask for from someone you don't know (particularly for someone who, as I mentioned earlier, doesn't like to ask people for things!) However, if I am being completely honest, there is a part of me that doesn't want to do this because I worry about what happens next. Suppose Bryan does go trick-or-treating this year. Next year when we're at home, do we do the same thing with all of our neighbors? And every year after that? If Bryan is perfectly happy handing out candy now, why change a good thing?

Am I letting my Halloween Grinch get in the way here? Since we have this opportunity, shouldn't I just let my kids enjoy being kids (and let their grandparents enjoy it as well)? Am I being unfair to Claudia by holding her back from this experience? Are they both going to look back on this someday and say that my denying their trick-or-treating effectively ruined their childhoods?

Wow, Halloween really CAN be the scariest time of the year...

Some good news and not-exactly-good news

Good news first- we found a new preschool for Bryan! We spent a few frustrating weeks calling and visiting preschools, none of which seemed to really understand our food allergy concerns. However, we finally found one that I was really excited about. First, they have experience dealing with food allergies- not only have they had other children with similar allergies in the past, his current class actually has another child with a nut allergy. When we went to visit, the director and the teacher asked all the "right" questions about Bryan's allergies and potential reactions, and I felt like they went out of their way to make sure I would feel comfortable leaving him in their care. They even invited me back to the kitchen to read all of the labels on the snacks that they served- which I REALLY appreciated. I kind of knew that for the most part, the snacks would not actually be safe (Goldfish crackers, Nilla wafers), but the fact that they gave me the opportunity to check helped me feel like they really do know what needs to be done to keep a food-allergic child safe. While I know that nothing is foolproof, I do feel really good about this place, and I hope that things go well!

As for the not-exactly-good news... We had another allergist appointment last week. Nothing has changed really, which we pretty much expected would be the case. However, there was so little improvement in his IgE levels for all of his allergens, the allergist actually recommended that we wait another 2 years before meeting with her again. Basically, she felt that the likelihood of seeing any marked improvement in another year was fairly slim, so we may as well wait a little longer before testing again. I certainly understand her rationale, and I actually agree that we probably won't see any improvement within the next year. It was, however, a little disheartening to hear someone (particularly the expert) actually say it out loud. I guess we just have to keep taking things one step at a time.