The Teal Pumpkin Project

Halloween is coming up soon.  I know I have posted in the past about Halloween and the challenges that food allergies present, so I won’t dwell on that too much.  We aren’t planning to go trick-or-treating ourselves, but I did want to share some information about a fun initiative we will be taking part in.

A good friend brought to my attention the Teal Pumpkin Project, a food allergy awareness campaign sponsored by FARE (Food Allergy Research and Education).  This campaign encourages people to raise awareness of food allergies at Halloween by providing non-food treats for trick-or-treaters.  Participants are also encouraged to paint a pumpkin teal - the color of food allergy awareness - to place in front of their houses along with a free printable sign from FARE to indicate they have non-food treats available. 

I think this is such a fantastic idea!  Like I said, we won’t be trick-or-treating ourselves, but I definitely want to be able to provide for anyone who might come to our house with a food allergy.  All of the candy we have is Bryan-safe, but I wouldn’t necessarily know if it would be safe for other food allergies.  (Although I did just check- safe for wheat & soy allergies, but it does contain corn…)  Trick-or-treating can be scary and frustrating for kids with food allergies (and for their parents).  If we can help with that and make the experience a little more fun with just a small gesture, I am all in.  Come on by- we’ll be the house with the glowsticks and bouncy balls.  :)

3 years later

So, it has been a while since I have posted here…  My last post was in anticipation of Bryan's food challenge, which didn’t exactly go as hoped.  An oral food challenge is done in small steps.  A very small, precise amount of the food is consumed, and the child is observed for an hour to monitor for any reactions.  Then a second, slightly larger amount of food is consumed, another hour of observation, and then a third, larger measured bite with another hour of observation.  If the three bites are consumed without any adverse affects, you pass the food challenge.

Bryan’s first bite actually went okay.  A few small spots appeared around his mouth, but he said he felt fine.  After the hour of observation had passed, the nurse measured the second bite and brought it in.  That one didn’t go very well.  So not well, in fact, the nurse later commented that she hadn’t ever seen a reaction that bad to such a small amount of egg protein.  The reaction started almost immediately.  Bryan was chewing, but he slowed down and got a look on his face.  He said his stomach kind of hurt and that his throat was itchy.  I looked at him carefully and could see that his face and arms were starting to turn red. Then he vomited. Again and again.

Of course, the whole reason the food challenge is completed in the allergist’s office is so that they can address any reactions quickly, so luckily the doctor and nurse team were able to take care of Bryan immediately.  They administered the Epi-Pen, which Bryan really didn’t want, but we told him it he needed it to stop the reaction.  It helped, but after an hour of close observation, he was still very red and very itchy, so they actually followed up with an intravenous course of steroids.  We ended up spending the full day in the allergist’s office- not exactly what we were hoping for, but obviously thankful for the amazing doctors and nurses who took care of us all day.

While not our favorite experience, there were some positive things to come out of the food challenge.  First, Bryan knows what a reaction feels like now.  He knows how it feels, he knows how it progresses- and he knows he doesn’t want it to happen again, so he is going to be extremely careful to avoid his allergens.  Also, my husband  knows what a reaction looks like now.  He also knows the signs to look for and he knows how serious it can be.  I know he knew anaphylaxis was serious, but not having seen it, he didn’t really have a sense of what to expect. 

Needless to say, I wasn’t super-excited about sharing that experience right away, so I stepped away from this blog for a little bit.  But for the most part since then, things have pretty much been “the usual”, at least as far as allergies go.  There was an incident in 2^nd grade where kids were going around talking about the “cheese touch”, but I found out that had more to do with a movie (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) than directly making fun of Bryan.  We moved just before the 3^rd grade, so we had to start from scratch again, but Bryan’s teachers and the school nurses have all been really great.  There was also a boy who, during the first few weeks of 3^rd grade, kept trying to give Bryan Cheetos.  First Bryan just told him no thank you, then told him he couldn’t because of his food allergies, and then one day Bryan came home and said the boy had put some Cheetos in his snack bag.  I was upset at first, but after talking it over with Bryan, realized the boy probably honestly didn’t mean any harm- he just really wanted to share with Bryan and didn’t quite get it.  As it turned out, the boy accompanied Bryan to the nurse’s office after the snack bag incident and she made sure he understood why Bryan couldn’t have his Cheetos (Bryan was fine- the teacher just sent him to the nurse as a precaution).  

So here we are, still allergic, but with a pretty good sense of how to handle things.  And for now, we are absolutely okay with that.  

A glimmer of hope

Bryan had an appointment with his allergist at the beginning of August, and for the first time, we came away with some potentially good news. At first, things looked the same- his blood tests all came back with extremely high IgE levels for all of his allergens. (And for those who don't live in this world of allergy terminology, that basically means the likelihood of an allergic reaction is extremely high.) However, our allergist told us that even with the high IgE numbers, she wanted to try a skin test for egg, and if that came back clear, she would want to follow up with an oral food challenge with egg. Wait a second... what did she just say?

Several studies recently have shown that a high percentage of children over the age of 6 who test positive for an egg allergy may still be able to tolerate certain foods that contain egg in them- namely baked goods. Heat has a tendency to denature proteins- basically, change their structure. And when you bake an egg at a temperature of 350 degrees or higher for 30 minutes or more, the protein structure of the egg changes enough that, for some egg-allergic children, their immune system no longer recognizes the protein. Which means that their body no longer attacks that protein- thus, no allergic reaction. So the child is still allergic to egg itself- no omlettes or scrambled eggs. BUT if the egg is in a baked good that has been baked at the proper specifications- again, 350 degrees or higher for 30 minutes or more- the child can eat it safely.

So we did the skin test for egg. (Again for the allergy-uninitiated: the skin test, like the IgE blood test, can tell you the likelihood of an allergic reaction, and it is often used to confirm the results of the blood tests. Neither test, however, can determine the potential severity of a reaction.) I watched my son's skin very carefully for the ten minutes it took for the test to develop, expecting the huge welt to appear as it did the last time we did skin testing... and nothing happened. It came back clear. Wow.

Armed with a negative skin test for egg, our next step is an oral food challenge, scheduled for September 30. Basically, we are going to sit in our allergist's office for at least 2 hours that morning, watching Bryan eat a brownie. A brownie that I will have to make with one egg (and no milk, peanuts, tree nuts, or sesame), baked at 350 degrees or higher for at least 30 minutes.

I'm still kind of trying to process everything. I know that there is a very real possibility that we go into the food challenge, and Bryan could still have an anaphylactic reaction. And to be perfectly honest, not a whole lot will change since, beyond monitoring for his other allergies, the egg specifications are pretty strict. But really, this is the first time in 6 years that we have had anything resembling good news with his allergies. And that glimmer of hope is definitely something I am holding on to.

(School) Year-End Recap

So, we have been out of school for a month now, and I realized that I was really bad about blogging this past year. But in a way, that was kind of a good thing because really- there wasn't a whole lot to blog about. For the most part, Bryan's year in kindergarten went really well. Bryan's kindergarten teacher was fantastic- she was really attentive and checked with me on pretty much everything. Bryan's class had a "Fun Friday Snack" every week, and she usually e-mailed me each month with a list of the snack items that were coming up. We would work together to figure out ingredients that would allow Bryan to have the same thing as everyone else, and when it simply wouldn't work, I sent a separate, similar snack for Bryan. For the special days that had activities that involved food, like the holiday party and Valentine's Day party, we met in person to go over the party menus. Whenever there was an activity that involved food of any kind- gluing macaroni noodles, or playing with rice- she contacted me ahead of time, just to make sure that it was something Bryan could touch. And I was so grateful for that- it made me feel much more at ease that she was taking his allergies so seriously.

I will admit, the system wasn't without its flaws. When we met before school started, Bryan's teacher and the Assistant Principal agreed that Bryan could sit at the end of the table each day so that the teachers on duty would know where he was, and that they would try to make sure no one with peanut butter sat near him (knowing that the other allergens would be much more difficult to monitor for). It wasn't until January, however, that I found out that policy wasn't being implemented. At that point it seemed picky to make a big deal out of it, since he had been fine for the 4 months up until then. But I was kind of disappointed. I also got calls from the nurse's office pretty regularly because Bryan had red itchy eyes or was sneezing uncontrollably. Those kinds of reactions are hard to pinpoint as food allergy reactions vs. seasonal allergy reactions, but the remedy was the same in either case- administer Bendadryl and keep an eye on him.

And there was also the playdate. Bryan had a friend over to play one day, and so his friend's mother invited Bryan over the next week. I had talked to her casually about Bryan's food allergies before, and she was a preschool teacher who had allergies in her school, so I figured everything would be okay, and I decided to try not to be "scary mom" this time around. I talked to Bryan ahead of time- he had his snack at home, and we talked about how he shouldn't eat anything, that he should say "No thank you" if they offered a snack, but that he could ask for water if he was thirsty. And when I dropped him off, I showed Mom how to use the Epi-Pen and told her that Bryan had already had snack, that he wouldn't need to eat anything while he was there, and left it at that. And when I came to pick him up an hour and a half later, they were sitting at the table eating Ritz crackers.

As I have mentioned previously, plain old Ritz crackers are technically safe for Bryan. And when I talked to Bryan at home about what had happened, he said he asked Mom to read the label to make sure they were safe. And while I was glad for that, it wasn't what we had discussed- neither for me and Bryan nor for me and Mom. And so I realized that I was maybe giving Bryan a little too much responsibility for now, and that I do in fact have to be "scary mom" when it comes to these things. Lesson learned.

All things considered, though, these were minor incidents to have to deal with. No major allergic reactions, no major backlash from other kids or parents. We all survived relatively unscathed- and to me, that was a major accomplishment.

Five years ago...

Five years ago, I sat down to give my 7-month old son some formula for the first time. I remember wondering whether or not he was going to like it, since I had heard that it sometimes takes a few tries for babies to adjust to the taste. And I remember the feeling of sheer terror that gripped me as I watched the onset of what I would soon discover was an anaphylactic reaction to the milk protein in the formula.

At the time, I was vaguely familiar with food allergies. As a teacher, I had a child in one of my classes with a peanut allergy. I had been instructed on how to use the Epi-Pen, but I had never actually seen a severe reaction before. I was stunned and felt completely unprepared, not only for how severe the reaction was, but also for how quickly it proceeded.

Even though the experience was terrifying, I am thankful for so many things. That God gave me the strength and clarity to get Bryan to the hospital, even through both of our tears. That we learned about Bryan's allergies at a young age, so that it has been something that he has grown up with. That Bryan has the personality and the maturity to manage his food allergies as well as he does. And that we have been blessed with a network of supportive and caring people who are willing to listen and be patient with us as we figure out how to live outside our bubble.

Life with food allergies may never be simple, to be sure. But it's our life, and we are learning to live it, day by day, month by month, year by year.

First day of school!

Yesterday was Bryan's first day of kindergarten at his new school! He said he was a little nervous, but he was fine once he got to his classroom. He got to play on the playground twice, and he got to all the way to three monkey bars. He was a little disappointed that he didn't get to play on the computers yet, but he was excited about going back today because he was going to paint in art class.

And how did my first day of Bryan's kindergarten go? Mine was a little more emotional. I didn't cry in the classroom, but I did start to tear up as I waited by the clinic to drop off Bryan's EpiPen and Food Allergy Action Plan. As much as Bryan's allergies dominate my thinking, I still don't like thinking about what could happen.

Not that I REALLY think that anything is going to happen. We got a chance to meet with Bryan's teacher before school started, and I really do think that Mrs. S is going to take care of him. Our conversation went well, and she really seemed concerned about making sure that Bryan stays safe in her classroom. She even sent home a label from the soap that they use in their classroom to make sure that Bryan could use it, which made me feel good that she is going to be proactive about his allergies.

That said, my heart does jump a little every time the phone rings, just in case it is someone from the school. I kind of wonder how long that anxiety is going to last, or if it is even ever going to go away. Because even though I do think Bryan will be okay- I still don't like thinking about what could happen.

Countdown to Kindergarten

Three weeks. Twenty-one days. It sounds like a long time, but then suddenly, it doesn't.

We have three weeks before Bryan starts kindergarten. This is supposed to be an exciting time- getting ready to start at a new school with a new teacher, new classroom, new friends, new everything. Which unfortunately for me, is kind of the scary part. I will admit that I am by nature an introvert, and I think that Bryan has inherited that characteristic from me. So any sort of new situation tends to be a bit overwhelming anyway from that perspective. My main concern, however, is how to handle and negotiate Bryan's food allergies in this new situation.

We met with the Assistant Principal of the school back in April, mainly to give the school advance notice of the issue and to try to gauge how our concerns would be addressed, and overall, we felt pretty good about the meeting. The school has had students with food allergies before, but none with quite the severity of Bryan's. However, we discussed Bryan's allergies and related issues at length, and the Assistant Principal seemed willing to work with us to feel comfortable about enrolling Bryan at the school. He actually followed up with me recently, and was hoping to be able to arrange a meeting for us with Bryan's teacher before school starts. That definitely made me feel better- that he not only was keeping us in mind, but actively trying to work with us to make the transition a successful one.

Do I feel better? Yes. Do I feel prepared? Not even a little bit. To be honest, I don't know that I will ever feel completely prepared when it comes to putting Bryan in a new situation. But I guess I have three weeks to try to get there.

Graduation Day

May 20 was Bryan's Preschool Graduation Ceremony. It was pretty cute- the kids got to wear graduation caps, they sang a song, and each child walked across the stage and received a "diploma" and a bible as a gift. Obviously more for the parents than anything else, but cute nonetheless.

Grandmama and Grandpa came to visit as well, and Grandpa made the comment beforehand that he thought the idea of a preschool graduation was ridiculous. (Ummm... have I mentioned that Grandpa can be somewhat gruff at times? =) Anyway, his point was that you shouldn't celebrate a "graduation" unless you have accomplished something- which in his mind wasn't until after you at least finished high school.

While I can understand Grandpa's point (I disagree to some extent, but I do think that some people overdo the celebrations), I started to think about his definition a little more, and I think that we HAVE accomplished something this year. I think Bryan has a much better idea of what he can and can't do when it comes to his food allergies in the classroom. His teacher told me that he handles his allergies very well, and that he is good about telling people when he can't have something. Bryan made it through pizza parties, ice cream parties, and Green-Eggs-and-Ham day, all without my hovering over him. He went to his first non-family birthday parties (with my hovering over him). These don't seem like big deals to most people, but for us, they were very big. I'm certainly still nervous, but at least we both have a better idea of how to handle things. To me, that represents a very big accomplishment. And like I said earlier, maybe more for the parents than for anyone else. =)

An irrational fear of cows

Last week, Bryan's preschool class had a petting zoo come to visit. I saw the announcement about it, thought about it a little, but decided it wasn't anything that I needed to worry about allergy-wise. That is, until after I dropped him off that day. On my way home, this is how my thought process played out:

Hmmmmm... I wonder if I should have talked to his teachers a little. It's probably fine. It's probably just bunnies and chicks or something like that- maybe a goat. He might be allergic to bunnies, since I am. But that will just be a little itchy or sneezy, and he has Benadryl to take care of that. What about the goat, though? Would his milk allergy affect him with a goat? (Most people who are allergic to cow's milk are also allergic to goat's/sheep's milk.) But they wouldn't milk a goat- it's just a petting zoo. But what if they bring a cow? No, a cow is too big- I shouldn't worry about that. But what if they do? Do I need to worry about the milk if Bryan is just petting the cow? What if they milk the cow as a demonstration? And what if they ask the kids if they want to try? Bryan's teachers wouldn't let him do that, would they? But then again, I've never actually told Bryan that he shouldn't milk a cow- what if he wants to try? And the milk splashes onto his hands? He would probably break out into hives (based on past experience with spilled milk). But then what if he started rubbing his eyes with the milk on his hands- or even worse, started sucking his thumb? No, that wouldn't happen. Right? Surely, his teachers would check with me before letting Bryan milk a cow. But what about the goat...

In the end, there was no cow, no goat, and Bryan was allergic to the bunny. But clearly, I need to find something else to think about.

Re-inventing the egg

I have been on something of a baking kick recently (which you may have noticed on my other blog). I enjoy baking, but I have had difficulty finding baking recipes for Bryan that I really like. Baking is a fascinating and complicated science. Ingredients combine together in chemical reactions to create flavor, texture, and shape- all of which contribute to those chewy cookies or fluffy cake that we enjoy so much. Therefore, substituting can be fairly tricky when you are dealing with the core ingredients to baking- such as flour, milk, and eggs. We are lucky enough that Bryan is not allergic to wheat, so flour is not an issue. Milk and eggs, however, are obviously not going into anything that Bryan can eat.

Eggs, I have found, are a particularly difficult ingredient to replace. Now, you might wonder why you can't just use a refrigerated egg substitute in place of the egg, and the reason is actually simple- most egg substitutes actually do contain egg. They are great for people who are trying to lower their cholesterol or something like that, but definitely off-limits for people with an egg allergy.

One of the keys to figuring out how to replace an egg is knowing the purpose the egg serves. Eggs usually act in one of two basic ways in a recipe- as a binding agent (to moisten and hold things together, as in cookies or brownies), or as a leavening agent (to lighten and soften the final product, as in cakes). In general, the fewer eggs needed, the better a replacement will work. (And unfortunately, if your goal is to make a perfect egg-free clone for your favorite quiche, you're probably out of luck.) However, there are a few substitutions that you can try with your usual recipes:

• If the egg is a binding agent in something sweet, like a cookie or a brownie, you can try replacing each egg with 1 Tbsp. mashed banana, applesauce, or yogurt (soy or otherwise). If the egg is a binder in something savory, like a meatloaf or casserole, you can use 1 Tbsp. mashed potato or tofu for each egg.

• If the egg is a leavening agent, as in cakes and muffins, things get a bit trickier. You need something that will release gas bubbles to make the food rise, and you have to be careful to distribute that ingredient evenly throughout the batter to ensure that you don't get "pockets" of rising- which is usually my problem. The most consistent (though not perfect) replacement that I have found is a mixture of 1 1/2 Tbsp. water, 1 1/2 Tbsp. oil, and 1 tsp. baking powder for each egg. However, you do need to use the mixture very quickly to take full advantage of the resulting bubbly chemical reaction.

(You can also do what I usually do, which is try to find recipes that already have substitutions worked into the ingredients. Since that isn't always possible, though, it's nice to have a trick or two up your sleeve.)

If the egg were all I had to worry about, it might be a little easier to work with existing recipes. But having to substitute for the milk as well ends up changing the chemistry enough that I usually have to look for designated milk-free-egg-free recipes. All of that to say, I have been baking a lot lately, trying to find recipes that everyone will enjoy. It's a little harder than I had hoped it would be (there's always something that's not QUITE right), but I suppose the upside is that the house smells really good. =)

Crafty? Or just plain crazy?

Bryan's birthday was this past week, and he had a birthday party for the very first time, with invitations and friends and everything! We actually ended up having a joint party with another little girl from his class who had scheduled her party for the same time, but that's another, non-food-allergy-related story. When I asked Bryan what kind of cupcakes he wanted for his party, he told me that he really wanted Backyardigans cupcakes. (For the non-parents out there, The Backyardigans is a cartoon that has 5 friends (a penguin, a moose, a bug, a kangaroo, and a hippo) who all live next door to each other, and who have all sorts of fun adventures together in their backyards.) So... knowing that I couldn't exactly go to a bakery and pick up a Backyardigans cake for him, I set out to make his Backyardigans cupcakes. And I think I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself:

Which brings me to my current train of thought... Would I have gone through all of this trouble if Bryan didn't have his food allergy problems? I think the short answer is no- I would have just gone out and bought a pre-decorated cake for him. But even beyond that, I kind of wonder... It never occured to me to say "No Bryan, I don't think I can do that- can you think of something easier?" I just immediately thought, Okay- Bryan wants Backyardigans... how do I make that happen? It's almost like a feeling of guilt- that I HAD to do it because I COULDN'T just go to a store and pick up something up. If I had been able to buy a cake for him and they didn't have Backyardigans, I probably would have had him choose something else, right? But since we didn't even have that option, I felt like I needed to make sure he at least had SOMETHING special.

I know that I'm not articulating this very well. Which I suppose brings me back to the title of this post. Am I crafty? Or just plain crazy?

Thanks a Lot(s)!

The end of January has crept up on us, which means... it's Girl Scout Cookie time! For me, Girl Scout cookies are more nostalgic than anything else. When I was a Girl Scout, my mother actually volunteered as Cookie Mother several times- which means that we gathered up our entire troop's orders from the delivery station and sorted them for each individual to pick up and deliver to their customers. Hundreds of boxes of Thin Mints, Samoas, and Do-Si-Dos sitting in our living room, just waiting to find their way to their new homes...

In any case, the Girl Scouts in our area now sell their cookies at booths or door-to-door, rather than taking orders ahead of time. One troop had set up just outside my grocery store last weekend, so as I left I bought a box of Thanks-A-Lots- a biscuit-like cookie that has chocolate on one side that my husband really likes. Of course, when I got home, Bryan saw me carrying the box and asked what they were. I told him that they were cookies for Daddy, and he asked if he could try one. When I told him that I didn't think they were safe for him, he said, "Well, can you just check?" So I did- and much to my surprise, I found out that Thanks-A-Lots are actually Bryan-safe! And so Bryan happily sat down with a Girl Scout cookie- and I received yet another lesson on the importance of reading labels.

New year, new... food?

Most people know that it is very easy to get stuck in a "food rut". Same things for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, day in and day out. It's a problem that a lot of families have, certainly, but the problem is compounded when you are also dealing with food allergies. Granted, I am the first to admit that my household is full of picky eaters to begin with. However, I definitely feel limited in the scope of foods that I can start with to serve to my son Bryan (because let's face it- there are only so many ways that you can substitute for an egg in a recipe). Plus, since it's such a relief whenever I do find something that Bryan can eat, it's very tempting to go back the same things again and again that I KNOW are safe. All of that to say- my family is defintely stuck in a food rut.

Which brings me to my New Year's Resolution: Armed with several new cookbooks that I received at Christmas, I am going to try to make at least one new Bryan-safe recipe each week. I know that it doesn't sound like much, but that works out to 52 new recipes over the course of the year- which is certainly more than I have done lately. I am planning to keep track of each week's results- where the recipe came from, modifications, degree of difficulty, and how it was received by my family- on a separate blog at http://myfoodallergytable.blogspot.com. (I know, some of you probably think I'm trying to recreate Julie and Julia, but honestly- it's just my way of getting myself to actually keep this resolution!) For anyone interested, the new blog will be dedicated exclusively to the recipe resolution, while I will continue to share food allergy stories and experiences here.

Thanks to all for stopping by- have a safe and happy new year!

The scariest time of the year

I was talking to Grandmama the other day, and mentioned that we might be going to Dallas to visit on Halloween this year. (We don't get a lot of trick-or-treaters here, and since it's on a Saturday, we thought it might be fun to visit Grandparents so they could see the kids in their costumes.) Right away, Grandmama started talking about how much fun it would be to take Bryan and Claudia trick-or-treating with their cousins Hannah and Zander, who always come over to trick-or-treat in their neighborhood.

The problem? I don't want Bryan to go.

Full disclosure- I am a little bit of a Halloween Grinch. Halloween has never been a big deal for me. I was pretty shy growing up, and I don't like asking people for things anyway, so trick-or-treating didn't hold a big appeal. So far, Bryan hasn't expressed any interest in going trick-or-treating, and he has enjoyed handing out candy for the past 2 years in a row- he actually already asked me about it for this year. My thought was that if we go to Grandparents' house, he would be able to hand out candy there. However, Grandmama is SO excited about having the cousins trick-or-treat together. I did tell her that I didn't know if trick-or-treating would be a good idea, but she began making plans to talk to her neighbors ahead of time to warn them of Bryan's food allergies. I know that my husband's family really got into Halloween every year, so she just wants to make sure that Bryan doesn't miss out on something that was so much fun for them.

I'm definitely thankful that Grandmama is thinking ahead on this, but there's so much more involved than just warning neighbors ahead of time. Neighbors who don't have any experience with food allergies won't know what to look for on a food label, and there are other issues as well. If I do let Bryan go trick-or-treating, I am going to want to:

• Talk to every single neighbor myself
  
• Bring some Bryan-safe candy to each house ahead of time
• Ask each person to make sure to keep the Bryan-safe candy separate from any other candy they might have to reduce the risk of cross-contamination
  
• Make sure they know who to look for to give the safe candy to
  
• Ask them to share this info with anyone in the house who might open the door

And that is a LOT to ask for from someone you don't know (particularly for someone who, as I mentioned earlier, doesn't like to ask people for things!) However, if I am being completely honest, there is a part of me that doesn't want to do this because I worry about what happens next. Suppose Bryan does go trick-or-treating this year. Next year when we're at home, do we do the same thing with all of our neighbors? And every year after that? If Bryan is perfectly happy handing out candy now, why change a good thing?

Am I letting my Halloween Grinch get in the way here? Since we have this opportunity, shouldn't I just let my kids enjoy being kids (and let their grandparents enjoy it as well)? Am I being unfair to Claudia by holding her back from this experience? Are they both going to look back on this someday and say that my denying their trick-or-treating effectively ruined their childhoods?

Wow, Halloween really CAN be the scariest time of the year...

Some good news and not-exactly-good news

Good news first- we found a new preschool for Bryan! We spent a few frustrating weeks calling and visiting preschools, none of which seemed to really understand our food allergy concerns. However, we finally found one that I was really excited about. First, they have experience dealing with food allergies- not only have they had other children with similar allergies in the past, his current class actually has another child with a nut allergy. When we went to visit, the director and the teacher asked all the "right" questions about Bryan's allergies and potential reactions, and I felt like they went out of their way to make sure I would feel comfortable leaving him in their care. They even invited me back to the kitchen to read all of the labels on the snacks that they served- which I REALLY appreciated. I kind of knew that for the most part, the snacks would not actually be safe (Goldfish crackers, Nilla wafers), but the fact that they gave me the opportunity to check helped me feel like they really do know what needs to be done to keep a food-allergic child safe. While I know that nothing is foolproof, I do feel really good about this place, and I hope that things go well!

As for the not-exactly-good news... We had another allergist appointment last week. Nothing has changed really, which we pretty much expected would be the case. However, there was so little improvement in his IgE levels for all of his allergens, the allergist actually recommended that we wait another 2 years before meeting with her again. Basically, she felt that the likelihood of seeing any marked improvement in another year was fairly slim, so we may as well wait a little longer before testing again. I certainly understand her rationale, and I actually agree that we probably won't see any improvement within the next year. It was, however, a little disheartening to hear someone (particularly the expert) actually say it out loud. I guess we just have to keep taking things one step at a time.

Back to square one

After a good experience with preschool last year, I'm kind of disappointed to say that we are in the process of finding a new preschool for Bryan. We do have options, but none of them seem to be ideal at this point. We were pretty lucky last year, as both of his teachers were nice and understanding, and willing to really work with us concerning Bryan's food allergies. They worked with us to keep him safe, but they also made sure that he felt included in the classroom. He sat at the table with everyone else at lunch, but they made sure that everyone knew they had to be careful around him. His allergies were important, but they weren't a "big deal." We were very happy with them, and with the school, and while I was disappointed that we had to move on from the class, I thought we were in fairly good shape for moving up to the next teacher.

I spoke with Bryan's new teacher at the beginning of the summer, and I wasn't really sure what to think. On the one hand, she seemed to take Bryan's allergies very seriously. However, her plan was for Bryan to sit at a table by himself during lunch. She was pretty set against letting him sit with the other kids because she felt the risk for accidents was too high. And while I understand her concern, I'm torn on her solution. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about it. Do I want Bryan to be isolated from everyone else during lunch? It's safer, certainly, but is he going to feel excluded? Or worse, ashamed, like he has done something wrong? (It doesn't help that the separate table was also used at other times during the day as the "Time Out" table.) In general, Bryan is pretty matter-of-fact about things- if we explained that he had to sit alone because it was safest, he might be okay with it. But then again, he might not.

It was enough of a concern that I started to look at other options over the summer. And I thought that I had actually found a good one- a small, owner-operated center with what I considered to be a strong educational philosophy. I spoke with the owner multiple times, as well as with both of his potential teachers. I really liked them, and while I still wasn't sure if I was over-reacting on his old preschool, I thought I would go ahead and enroll him in this new place. However, when I called last week to confirm that they still had space and to go over some of Bryan's allergy information again, I was caught by surprise. While they did have space, his new teacher was so concerned about his allergies that she really didn't feel comfortable with having him at a table with the other kids. In fact, their solution was for me to pick Bryan up before lunch each day, since we were planning to do half-days anyway. I was kind of taken aback, but I told them it sounded fine. However, after I hung up and had a chance to actually think about it, I realized- I don't know that it is IS fine. Again, I understand their concerns, and honestly, it's safer for Bryan to have lunch at home with me. But in some ways, that kind of defeats the purpose of preschool for Bryan. He needs to learn to handle himself, particularly with meals, when I'm not around.

It's quite frustrating, because I honestly don't know what to do. How do other parents in this situation feel? One school is willing to give him a "safe", albeit isolated, table- should we just be grateful for that much? Or should we ask that he be included at the table during lunch? Is that even in his best interest, given the risks? Or am I just overthinking this? Anyone? Anyone?

Four years and counting

It has been four years since we started our ride on this roller coaster of living with food allergies. We have definitely been through a lot, but we have learned a lot as well. And the next year is going to bring even more challenges (hello, Kindergarten!) But through it all, Bryan has been a trooper. I'm sure that things are difficult for him sometimes, but he has been so mature about the way that he handles his food allergies, it's hard for me to believe that he is only four years old. Bigger challenges may be ahead of us, but for now, at least- I think he's going to be okay.

On the road again

We just got back from another food-allergy adventure- our first big road trip. We drove from Austin to Dallas, stayed overnight with Grandmama and Grandpa, then set out on the road for a 12-ish hour drive to Nashville to visit some family friends. We stayed at our friends' house in Nashville (four families, three nights, two days, one house!), so we were able to take advantage of the kitchen and grocery store for most of our meals. However, meals during the drive posed a problem, (beyond what you would expect from hours in the car with two small children!) and we would have to figure out how to handle lunches and dinners on the road for Bryan.

In general, fast-food options are out for him. Burgers are cooked on the same grill as cheeseburgers, fries are cooked in the same oil as chicken nuggets, which usually have milk or egg in the coating. Some places are now offering apple slices or mandarin oranges, which would be a nice treat, but we needed to have something more substantial. Armed with a cooler, we brought along some chicken nuggets (prepared that morning at Grandmama's house; he would have to eat them cold), and a ham and soy cheese sandwich. And luckily, he was pretty happy with his options.

While in Nashville, our hosts Eric and Sarah Catherine were amazing. I talked with SC prior to our visit, as she wanted to make sure that we were comfortable with our surroundings allergy-wise. The rest of the guests were great as well. We did end up relying mostly on convenience foods while we were there- hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and Pop Tarts- but it wouldn't have made sense to spend a lot on other ingredients that we would just end up leaving after our visit. Maybe Bryan wasn't the healthiest eater while we were there, but I can live with that.

Bryan did have one allergic reaction while we were there, and I have to take the blame for that one. The last morning we were there, we made eggs for breakfast. Everyone checked with me first to make sure I was okay with it, and I thought Bryan would be fine. He hasn't had a reaction other times that people have cooked and eaten eggs around him. However, I didn't really consider the fact that two of the people eating eggs were under the age of 3- and therefore a bit more hands-on with their eggs than most. And while we made sure that hands and faces were washed, it maybe wasn't quite enough. Shortly afterwards, Bryan's left eye started swelling pretty badly, and he started complaining that his throat and tummy felt hot. No hives on his neck or stomach, though, so I gave him some Benadryl, and luckily, that was the extent of it. But as usual, not much fun.

For the drive back, we decided to take it easy and stop for the evening along the way, rather than try to make it all the way to Dallas. So for Bryan's meals-on-the-go, we had more cold chicken nuggets for lunch, but I was able to use the microwave at the hotel to warm up some leftover pasta that we had made for him earlier in the weekend. Breakfast in the morning was Pop-Tarts, and that was the end of our food-on-the-road challenge. One more milestone done- and while we survived, I think it may be a while before we try that one again. =)

A lost art

The other day, Bryan asked me if he could have some popcorn. (I'm not quite sure where he had seen or heard about popcorn, since he hasn't actually had it before!) My automatic response was "Well, Bryan, I have to go to the store to see if I can find some that is safe for you." So that's what I did. I went to the aisle that had the microwave popcorn, looked at every single package, and found not a single one that did not have a milk product in it. As I got ready to go home to tell my soon-to-be-disappointed son that I couldn't find any safe popcorn, I stopped and thought for a minute. Ummmm... people made popcorn before microwaves existed, right? In fact, I remember growing up with those fun Jiffy-Pop aluminum popping pans. And while they didn't have any of those at this particular store, surely I could figure out a way to pop popcorn on the stove, right?

Armed with a nice big jar of popcorn kernels, I sat down with my cookbooks to try to figure out how to pop these things, since the label had helpful Air Popper instructions, but nothing about stovetop popping. No luck. However, I do have this wonderful thing called the "internet" that was much more helpful.

As usual, I was making things WAY more complicated than they needed to be. But in the end, Bryan got his popcorn AND we had a lot more fun than just sticking a bag into the microwave. We had a lovely math lesson as Bryan measured out the kernels, and he got to watch them actually pop, which was SUPER exciting. All in all, a great experience- one that we probably wouldn't have had if I had just been able to pull a box of microwave popcorn off the shelf. So in some ways, his allergies actually helped make things a little more fun for us this time. Every now and then, it's nice to find a silver lining in our food allergy cloud. =)

Guilty and guilt-free treats

When Bryan was first diagnosed with his food allergies, we decided that it would be best to eliminate peanuts from our household. (We considered eliminating eggs and milk as well, but ended up not doing so. More thoughts on that in a later post...) In general, it hasn't been that difficult. While my husband and I like peanut butter, but it's not one of our must-have foods. In general, I certainly don't feel like I am missing out on anything- except at this time of the year. The one thing that I do miss are Reese's peanut butter eggs. (I don't care about the peanut butter cups- for some reason, it's just the eggs that I crave.) And I kind of feel guilty about wanting them, even if I'm not going to actually buy or eat them- like I'm somehow being disloyal to Bryan. Are there any other parents out there who feel the same way?

Anyway, while I have to do without the peanut butter eggs, I decided to try to make a different Easter treat for Bryan. I actually found a recipe for milk-and-egg-free "Cadbury" creme eggs. (That's right- I made egg-free eggs.) To be honest, I'm not sure if Bryan will actually eat them (although they ARE pure sugar- how can he not like them?). But at least I can say that I actually made them!